


And Now For Something Completely Different

by ladydragon76



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-22 13:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydragon76/pseuds/ladydragon76
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Summary:</b> Megatron is now an Autobot according to Prime.  Jazz loves his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Now For Something Completely Different

**Author's Note:**

> **‘Verse:** G1  
>  **Series:** None  
>  **Rating:** PG  
>  **Characters:** Jazz, Megatron  
>  **Warnings:** Crack?  
>  **Notes:** A prompt from Anonymous. - **The Prompt:** _Or the rather evil thought I've had of Prime finally losing it with Megatron. Prime sends Megatron a datapad via Jazz, naming the Decepticon Leader an honorary Autobot and a list of all the rules he's breaking._

“Spare us all, Megsy,” Jazz cut in as Megatron’s mouth opened. He recognized that smirk, and raised the tyrant his own trademarked grin. “We all know I’m only here cuz I wanna be. Or didja not notice how nervous the guards are?”

Megatron scowled, but glanced back to look as Skywarp and Scavenger straightened, trying not to look like they’d been huddling back as far from Jazz as they could get in the narrow Decepticon brig. “Fine. What do you want, Autobot?”

Huh. Jazz hadn’t expected it to be that easy, but whatever. It meant he got to see the look on Megatron’s face sooner. He pulled a datapad from his subspace. “The Prime asked me ta deliver this ta your hands.”

Megatron’s optic ridge arched, detecting the formal use of Prime’s title as well. “Is that so?” He held out his hand, and Jazz carefully slotted the datapad between the glowing energy bars of his cell. “And what is this? An offer of surrender?”

“Not so much.”

That earned Jazz another arch look, but then Megatron thumbed on the datapad and started reading. Red optics brightened, then widened. Megatron’s mouth slowly fell open, a look of first shock, then revulsion covered his face. Jazz fought against the giggles bubbling up. He didn’t want to miss a second of the coming eruption.

“I am _not_!” Megatron exclaimed. “What the- Slag that! I will not be-”

Skywarp and Scavenger cowered back, whether from Megatron’s building temper tantrum or the manic delight on Jazz’s face, he couldn’t tell, and it really didn’t matter. Jazz would be clinging to the bars and climbing them like a caged monkey if they wouldn’t have blasted him to the back wall of his cell. As it was, he was bouncing, fists pressed together in front of his chest, the giddy excitement almost impossible to contain.

“-in direct violation of Autobot Code...” Megatron’s lips actually began to move as he read, and every now and then a word would pop up, his tone more and more incredulous.

“High grade?”

“Abuse of authority…”

“…section one, one, three, nine…”

“…misuse of pseudo-science? The frag does… Oh.”

Jazz waited, biting his lip so hard he was surprised he wasn’t tasting energon yet, but then Megatron finally looked up from the datapad and right at him.

“He’s lost his frelling mind, hasn’t he?”

“Ta name you an honorary Autobot?” Jazz chortled at the wince from Megatron and gasps from the two mechs in the far corner. “Nah. But Prowl’s lookin’ forward ta arrestin’ ya. Twins’re gonna help cuz they’re excited ta have another mech around even worse behaved than them.”

Megatron frowned. “No. This is ridiculous.”

Jazz was inclined to agree, but only in his own head. “Nope. Ya’re totally an Autobot now, and expected ta act like one. Ya’ll be punished for all the bad stuff ya’ve done, then freed, but ya better behave. Prowl’s talkin’ some serious lecturin’, and Prime has already promised a lecture of his own.” Jazz widened his optics behind his visor so it would glow brighter, his tone earnest. “Ya’re doomed, my mech. Prime’s ‘I’m so disappointed in ya’ lectures are the _worst_.” Jazz knew from experience, and his spark still ached at the memory.

And then, because life was good and Primus was smiling on him, Jazz faced Skywarp and Scavenger. “We’re considerin’ makin’ all the ‘Cons honorary Autobots.”

Skywarp was gone in a flash of purple, and Scavenger fainted. Dead away. Collapsed with a nice loud jangle and clanking of limbs hitting the floor. Megatron stared at the unconscious Constructicon a moment then turned back. He jumped, stepping back before he could rein in the reaction, and Jazz smiled benignly up at him, now outside of the energy bars.

“There’s a copy of the whole code on there. Better be sure’n read it all.” Jazz sauntered past a still gaping Megatron and exited the brig. He really loved his job.


End file.
